First of all, I feel great! Not like, run a marathon great, but great. A little fatigue, which is fairly normal, but other than that, GREAT. I've had ZERO morning sickness this go around. Thank you, Lord!
The scariest thing I've encountered was some spotting for about 3 weeks that worried me some, but at the same time, I also had a peace about it all. I also had some great friends that checked on me (DAILY) and that made a huge difference. I firmly believe their support is what kept me thinking so positively during that time. Sadly, this occurred the same time my husband was supposed to be in the Philippines. He cancelled his trip to stay home with me, just in case. I kept telling him to "go", but he wanted to stay. I love him for it, but feel bad that he missed out on a trip because of me and baby.
The spotting was especially worrisome to me because I have miscarried before. When Jon was about 5, we got pregnant again. I had just started working and I really needed to be working and we had just started a church and even though we had planned for that pregnancy, God needed our little one Home with Him. While I had some sadness, I never really got depressed over this loss, as I had tremendous peace/comfort from God during this time. I knew that our angel baby was in His care and He could take better care of her in Heaven than we could on earth. To be honest, I felt something was "wrong" from the beginning of the pregnancy, so losing this baby was painful, but not a huge surprise.
Some of you may recall, my pregnancy with Ella was a BEAST. I saw every "ologist" in the book. Passed out while sitting in a chair, dealt with a whacked out thyroid and ended up going into the hospital at 36 weeks to be diagnosed with pancreatitis. I was later told that I was pretty close to dying. Nice. Yeah, Ella was nearly the death of me and yet... I am now pregnant again. Women are crazy.
Secondly, I'd like to say that this pregnancy was TOTALLY planned. Yes. We CHOSE to have another. There are lots of reasons why we shouldn't have (hello, we live in a 5th wheel and spend most of our days in a truck traveling church to church AND we like traveling overseas to the Philippines), but there were enough reasons why we should that I didn't want to regret at least trying for another.
Lastly, and I can't explain this, but I'm not NEARLY as hungry/starving as I was with Jon and Ella. With Jon, I'm pretty sure I ate all the time because it was my first pregnancy and I was just totally ignorant as to how much I was actually eating. With Ella, I stayed a bit nauseated all day long and having food on my stomach helped, so I basically grazed, like a cow, ALL DAY LONG. With this pregnancy, I'm "normal" hungry for the most part. I'm eating way less (but still managing to gain weight and look much further along than I really am!!!) and mostly craving healthy stuff. Proteins, cheese and citrus seem to be the things I gravitate towards. Too much sugar makes me a little sick feeling, so I've been "indulging" but not as much as I have in the past.
I'm 38. Now, most days that doesn't seem/feel all that old. But, the docs consider pregnancy high risk for women over 35. I definitely qualify. This does make me a teeny (okay, more than a teeny) bit nervous. I see all kinds of scary diagnosis on Facebook and spend way too much time googling baby stuff and at times, I have tiny little panic attacks. And yet, I feel very strongly that this baby was definitely meant to be and will be exactly what we need, no matter what.
I'm excited! I'm feeling super strong BOY vibes, as this pregnancy is much like my pregnancy with Jon.
I cannot think of a cool name. *sigh* Apparently, "Jon" and "Ella" are the extent of my naming capabilities. Oh, I have a few that I've been tossing around, but none just FEEL right. Yet.
The kids have agreed it MUST be a boy. Jon wants a baby brother and Ella refuses to share her "girl toys". HA!
I have my next doctor appointment on Thursday and I'm hoping 15 weeks is far enough along to find out boy or girl...I'm hopeful, but won't be surprised if I have to wait longer.
So, there are some random thoughts floating around in my brain. I apologize for all the grammar mistakes. I tend to over use commas... I am pregnant and that is going to be my excuse for the next several months. Enjoy and feel free to comment!
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