Merry Christmas!

Tennessee is beautiful this time of year...

I had this big gigantic surprise. I was going to fly out to Tennessee to surprise my baby sister who is going through a bone marrow transplant.

I asked Trent if I could go--meaning, can we swing the cash for a plane ticket and of course, he said yes. So, I made the reservation and scheduled to leave on November 9th. Well, as I type this--it's not November 9th and yet I have been here for 14 days.

My grandfather fell. He had been going to physical therapy because he lost a toe to diabetes. Well, during therapy one day, he just kinda fell over. And then, an hour later he fell again. He had an aneurism and was admitted to hospital on October 22nd.

After a few phone calls, I had canceled my ticket and made arrangements to fly out the next morning. I told mom and dad I'd be willing to stay with Alicia as long as necessary so mom could be with her dad and mom.

I ended up surprising my sister anyway. No one told her I was coming. The look on her face was priceless. I wish I had caught it on camera.

Mom and Dad left that night and I was left with Alicia and Gavin (her husband) to learn what it means to be a "caregiver". No notes. No prep. Just: "Here you go...your sister needs you to take care of her". Aaaahhhh! I don't think I ever really panicked about it until she ran a fever. On, October 27th, she had a fever of 100.4. That means: "We go to hospital." We called the 1-800 number and waited. And waited. And waited. Lucky for me (sarcasm!!!) the paging system was down, so it took an hour and a half to get a doctor. All the while I am trying to remain calm and in control and her fever slowly starts to go down. It remained down and eventually broke.

Every day for the last two weeks, I have taken her to clinic. Clinic is like a mad, bizarre game of roulette. Each day, she gets an antiviral drug and chemotherapy. And depending on other symptoms, sometimes she is given other drugs. And sometimes these drugs cause new symptoms. Each day she feels better in some ways, worse in others. There is no predicting what drug will help and which one may cause a symptom to develop. It's crazy. Insane. It's necessary.

I will say this...the gals who work this clinic are top notch. One gal in particular. Her name is Esta and I can not describe to you the feeling I got off her other than I felt clearly she was called by God to be a nurse and to be my sister's nurse. I felt this invisible embrace of a complete stranger (to me) and it was warm, compassionate and caring. In two seconds, I trusted this woman completely with the care of my sister.

********

It is now December 5th and I am just now attempting to complete this entry.  At this point, I can look back and say that the 3 weeks I spent in Nashville changed my life.  I have never had a grown up toddler before. Yes, taking care of an adult is like have a giant toddler under your care. When she would go into another room and was quiet too long--I'd have to go see what she was in to to make sure she was ok.

Honestly, we didn't "do" much, but I wouldn't trade those weeks for anything.  My sister washed my hair for me after I had Jon and I've been waiting for YEARS to be able to repay that favor.  Now, we are even. 

She is STILL my baby sister, and I still want to grow up to be JUST like her.  She really is the strongest person I know.  Hearing her pray in the bedroom, crying out to God for mercy from all the pain and sickness and in the next sentence giving Him praise...  Well, it reminded me of my mother and all those years ago, I overheard her praying in her bedroom and the sounds were identical.

I could not be more happy, proud and THANKFUL to be a part of a REAL Christian family.  My family acts like Christians even when no one is watching.

Sorry for the delay of this post.  It's been interesting going from Manila, to jet lag, to Nashville, to full time evangelizing (running the roads) again, and only last week did I finally feel like I was *home*.  My house is mostly put back together and even decorated for Christmas!!  And despite a persistent water leak that is coming from an unknown source, it feels much more "homey" to me now.  

Oh, don't get me wrong, we are all "homesick"for Manila.  We talk about it nearly every day still.  Sorry for this post turning into a recap.  I will try to do better in the future!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!!

PS: If you or someone you know is undergoing a Bone Marrow Transplant, you can learn more and read about my sister's experience on her blog:  That's What I Think.  She also wrote a FANTASTIC novel a while back that is WELL WORTH the read:  Margo

This is Alicia, waiting in clinic, receiving her meds via IV form in a port located in her chest.

This is me, waiting patiently while she receives meds in clinic.  I sent this pic to my kiddos while waiting.

2nd hospital visit.  Cocktail hour!!  So many IVs, so little time.

Alicia, just snoozing and taking it easy.  Not much else to do.

My bed during the 1st hospital stay...but the bed the 2nd stay was quite similar. A very FIRM bed that my back enjoyed ever so much.  Really.

A little virus scare.  All persons entering the room had to mask up. This was to prevent the spread of infection/virus to other patients on the same floor.  We did not have to wear masks, as we were not going to be visiting other patients.

An outside view of Alicia's room.  These stations were in between two rooms so the nurses could look in on two patients at a time, as necessary. 

Didn't have time to capture any of the beautiful fall foliage of Tennessee, but I did get this pic of the overcast Autumn sky.  There is no better place to experience Autumn leaves than Tennessee, in my opinion.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Going is the Easy Part

When you attend a Missions Service, and watch the presentation of that Missionary's burden, you think: "That is so hard, I could never do that!"  "I could never live without my ________!"  And, if you never go, it's okay to feel that way.  You send someone else.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Truly.

But...

If you do go...your entire world is turned upside down.  My first trip happened when I was 18.  A graduation present from my parents.  It was a "fun thing" to do and a little "exotic" trip for this recent graduate and I did not put much thought or prayer (how is that for being honest) into it.  It just sounded cool and fun to me.  When I left, I was shy.  Painfully, horribly, turns bright red if anyone speaks to her SHY.  It was awful.  I did not like that part of me, but I did not know how to fix it.  So, I leave for this trip and have to give myself a little pep talk:  "Amber, you do not know ANY of these kids.  They do not know you.  You do not know any of the leaders and they do not know you.  You will MAKE friends and be friendly and you will have the time of your life.  This is a fresh start to being the YOU you have always wanted to be."  And with that, I took off to Russia for a Youth on Missions Trip.  And came home--messed up.  

First of all, I suddenly gained confidence in myself.  Like real, genuine confidence.  I was worthy!  I was worthwhile!  I could make a difference!  This was the biggest blessing I received from my first trip.  One that has changed the entire course of my life.  Truly, it was the pivotal point for me...and I am so very grateful that my parents were able to send me.  Secondly, I realized just how good I had it.  Oh sure, I remember as a small child not having "everything", but I never felt poor or that I did without.  As we got older, we were blessed with more and my parents were good to me and my siblings--all the while instilling a work ethic into us (Thank you so much for that Mom and Dad).  But still, I just took it for granted that our church had air conditioning, carpet, a working restroom, quality instruments, etc.  This was just normal for me.  I had no idea what other had to face or deal with.  I took for granted our clean water and easy access to food and transportation.  

But, Russia...oh Russia...you taught me that I am so blessed.  Blessed more than I ever realized.  And Russia, you messed me up.  You were that tiny little "mission seed" planted deep into my heart.

Now, I am grown, married and I have brought my kids to the mission field.  A dream I was never even brave enough to dream.  And now, after our FIRST (definitely not our last!!!) trip, I am writing this blog because my heart is aching.  You see, GOING on a missions trip is easy.  It involves money, time and commitment.  These commodities are something that we can all manage to scrape together.  Oh yes, GOING is much easier than LEAVING.  Leaving has been the hardest thing I will ever face.  My heart is breaking and as I type this, tears are dripping onto the desk.  I do not want to leave.  Not now.  But yet, I know that our time (for now) is over.  We must go home and do the work God has called us to do in the states.  And also...raise a budget to come back.  I do not know if the foreign field is a "forever after for us".  But, right now it is a part of us that God has seen fit to put inside us...and we must fulfill that calling.  

Trent and I are evangelists at heart. Always will be.  It is what defines us.  And we will GO wherever He leads us, willingly, gladly and with thankful hearts.  But leaving...oh, the leaving....it is much harder. 

Making Room for the Impossible

It's probably the greatest lesson I have learned while here in the Philippines.  It's probably the greatest lesson I will learn my entire life.

I am learning to make room for the impossible.

A few weekends ago, we sat around the table at KFC with the Gallimits and we were having a great time!  Talking, laughing and sharing stories.  Truly, one of the highlights of our trip.  At one point, Pastor Gallimit said something, and it has been replaying over and over in my brain ever since.

I have replayed it so many times, savoring it, and trying to wrap my head around the idea and the magnitude of this concept.

Pastor Gallimit said:  "The Philippines is the land of the impossible."  We were talking about jeepneys and how amazing it is that SO MANY Filipinos can fit into one vehicle.  Just when you think there is no room for one more, two more Filipinos will climb in and magically, there is room.  Well, this has been an idea that I could just not shake.  

How many times do we think a situation is impossible? We think that there is no way and our doubt leaves NO ROOM for the impossible to squeeze in.

If the average Filipino has FAITH that there is room on an already crowded jeepney, how is it I cannot have the faith that God can make a way when a situation looks impossible to me.  Mentally, I have already crowded out the room God needs to perform the impossible.  I have shut the door to my situation and have bound His hands from answering my need.

My prayer:  God, help me to have the faith to know that "the impossible" has just enough room for Your perfect will to squeeze in and perform the work.

PS:  If you follow my blog and don't follow me (or my husband) on Facebook or Twitter, I MUST highly recommend a blog post for you to read.  Kendra Shock is a fellow AIMer here in the Philippines and she wrote an awesome post about her feelings regarding the Philippines...and they mirror mine almost exactly.  A great read--grab some tissues!!   

What I Saw

I saw precious things today...and one of them was this beautiful and perfect pair of little feet. I asked mama if it was ok if I took a picture of her daughter's feet. I have this weakness for baby feet. They are soft and have not yet walked the miles they will walk and developed the callouses they will develop. They are perfect and unscarred. I love them.





I also met "The Winker", Rassel. Rassel is 11 and I winked at him. He "winked" back (closing both eyes). I left a piece of my heart sitting next to him in his hospital bed.

I also met a "Lola" (grandmother) I had to hug. She wept openly while we prayed for her little granddaughter. I asked Annie if she would ask permission if I could hug her. She needed one. Normally, I would have just hugged her--but something in her body language when we first met said "stay away". I did not want to make her uncomfortable. So I asked permission. I hugged her tight. I squeezed her shoulders and whispered "it's going to be ok" when I do not know if this is really true--but I believe it to be true.

NCH--forever a part of me.

Precious Little...

I am not sure why, but at some point today, I had this nagging urge to write down some notes for all my single friends.  Consider this FREE and unsolicited advice that you may take or leave.  And know that if we have a conversation in the future and you begin with: "I read your blog about this all those years ago, but..." I will kindly hug you, sit down and listen.  Because even if you don't heed my advice, I will always be there for you and love you.

This really has precious little to do with my current situation...which is being in the Philippines, but it also has EVERYTHING to do with it.  My husband flew out to Palawan on Monday to preach a 3 day crusade.  After hearing he arrived safely, I was relieved and then he began telling me about how "rough" things were there.  Nothing like we (spoiled) Americans are used to.  While I do feel sorry for him, I am also QUITE PROUD of him as well.  I am also a wee bit jealous because I am that wacky gal who ENJOYS roughing it (temporarily) for the adventure of it all.  

So, are you ready for my little bits of wisdom?  Brace yourself.  HA!!

Girls:  How can you tell if he is "Mr. Right"?

If he doesn't live for God now, chances are after the ceremony he won't either.  It's a simple as that.  I know, I know.  He has promised you it is just a matter of timing, his job, his schooling, etc.  Sorry, if he is too busy for God now, he will be too busy later when he is working to keep food on your table and clothes on your back.  It will ALWAYS be something.  Find a man who loves God and is sold out to the things of God.  Period.  This point in NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Does that handsome hunk have a job?  If not, throw him out on his ear.  STAT!  Oh, sure...his little grin makes your heart go "pitter-pat", but that grin doesn't put money in the bank or food in the bellies of your future children.  A man who doesn't work is totally worthless.  Even if the guy you are dating has a job that keeps scheduling him to work on Friday nights and you can't go out like you'd like...that guy is the one who will do whatever it takes to make sure all the bills are paid (on time!!) and keeps a roof over your head.  Giving up date night may seem like a big deal now, but knowing you have found someone who really loves you enough to TAKE CARE OF YOU, is priceless.

Now, fellas...before you get all in a huff because I am dogging on you (do people even still talk like that???), I have some advice for you as well...

Guys:  How do you know that you finally find the Princess you want to make your Queen?

The all-time best place EVER to meet a great, godly girl is NOT in the foyer or lobby of the church.  Nope.  You are gonna find Mrs. Happy Ever After in one of two places:  the prayer room or the altar.  Period.  That's it.  That's the two places to look.  The gal that is praying her visitor through to the Holy Ghost?  She's the one.  The one with the beautiful soprano voice singing during altar call with tears streaming down her face?  Yep, she's a keeper.  If she puts God first, she will be a better wife and mother.  She will be a godly, submitted HELPMEET to you.  If you have a calling into ministry, you will go MUCH FURTHER with a lady that also wants to serve the Lord.  

If that gal you've been eyeing has trouble telling what size skirt actually fits her...pass her on by.  Girls with skirts (tops, dresses, etc) too tight have ZERO respect for themselves.  They subconsciously think the only way to "lure" a guy is to be bait.  Wow...I just compared her to a worm.  Yeah, that about sums it up.  This gal probably has very little self confidence also.  She will require a lot of "work" to keep happy.  More money, a bigger house, a fancier car...the list goes on and on.  She will think these *things* are what she needs to be happy or feel good about herself.  You will literally go mad trying to please this gal.  Stay away.

Really, these examples can apply for either gender.  It all comes down to this:  Put God first and He will show you the right one for you.  I know it is tough falling asleep each night with tear-soaked cheeks and a tear-stained pillow because you are so lonely.  But, these tears are not nearly as painful as tears of a man or woman who is married to someone who doesn't love them, doesn't care for them and wishes they had never married the other.  Being alone is much less painful than being in a loveless marriage or one that has pulled you out of the church family.  

I was a teenager (oh, so many years ago) and this became my "go-to" scripture:  

"Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give the the desires of thine heart." Psalm 37:4  

When you stop praying for God to send you someone and start praying: "How can I serve you better Lord?", you will be surprised at how quickly God will answer that prayer...and all the others ones regarding your future.  

Not Ready for Goodbye

I'm still here, I promise.  Last week was a tough one for me.  We were texted early in the morning and told that a dear friend and past neighbor of ours was brutally stabbed in his home.  Jim was a dear friend to our family and his adopted son, Alex is Jon's best friend.  I cannot tell you the gaping hole that has been left behind.  It still does not even seem real to me.  I just can't imagine him being gone and poor little Alex without a dad.  Alex's mom is in a nursing home, as she is suffering from Alzheimer's.  Such a sad and tragic thing.  I am happy to report that the 3 killers were captured, thanks to the escape of two separate victims.  One of the men had Jim's gun and the connection was easily made and the 3 men confessed.

Later that same day, Annie and I visited NCH and were told that Steven "The Fighter" (read his story here) passed away on September 1.  Stunned.  I am still just in shock thinking about this sweet little boy, this champion that lost his fight.  

Yes, a tough week indeed.  

The end of the week was much better than the first.  Trent did a PHENOMENAL job at ACTS Bible School's Spiritual Emphasis Week.  I was so proud!!  The first day he taught on accepting the call.  So many things he said were so on target for where I was when I was in bible school.  If you want to do something great for God, don't wait on SOMEDAY to do it--start NOW.  The next day, he taught on building altars and the response was incredible!  Those students poured their hearts out tirelessly, building their own altars and laying themselves on it for a sacrifice to God.  It was beautiful!

I had a personal bought with a belly demon.  Seriously, there is no better way to describe it.  But, as of today, I am victorious--and 5 lbs lighter.  HA!  That won't last too long, as we've been making weekly trips to Krispy Kreme and Pan de Manila (for donuts and leche flan tarts--heaven help me!).  *sigh*

Today, we had service with Pastora Elsie Pestano and tonight will be a Holy Ghost Exlplo (short for explosion) at PARC, Pastor Caesar Pestano's church.  We had at least 8 or 10 receive the Holy Ghost this morning.  It is tough getting a count, as those that are receiving do not know what they have!  :)  

We are at the halfway point of our trip and Trent and I can hardly talk about it without choking up and feeling sad about having to leave.  This has been amazing and life changing on so many levels.  

Ma'am Flowers praying with the young ladies at ACTS.  Building Altars.

Sir Flowers and AIMer Kendra Shock praying with ACTS Students.

She should be arrested for the mutilation of this beautiful donut.  She only ate the icing.  :|

Mandatory Photo Shoot...All Smiles

Ok!  That is ENOUGH!  HAHAHAHA!!!